Letter to Sebastian Jaya – 3.5 years old

To dear Sebastian Jaya,

It’s been over six months since I last sat down to write a letter to you, Sebby, and this tells me that life has been way too busy. So many special occasions have passed us by; Christmas, New Year, an overseas holiday and now more recently; Easter and you turning three and a half years old! OH MY GOODNESS, my little man, you are growing up so fast! It all feels so quick. There have been HUGE changes in you over the last six months. You have gotten taller again and you are talking so much! Quite the chatterbox who gives a running commentary on everything that you see. I’m still taking your monthly photo {or I should say, trying to!}, so here’s a few over the last six months.

Christmas 2018 was a difficult one for our little family, one day when you’re older I’ll tell you all about it Sebby, but for now, I’ll just say that it was heartbreaking and it was a difficult day to get through. Of course, you my little man, brought light and laughter to our hearts and helped us all get through the day.

The new year came bringing with it, as always, new hope and faith for a brighter and happier year ahead. After all we had a little family holiday planned for early in the year, so we had that to look forward to.

In March we headed off on what was your third trip overseas, and your second time to Indonesia. We spent two and a half weeks in Bali and Java. Upon arriving we spent a few days in Sanur Bali before heading off to Yogyakarta in Central Java for five nights and then back to Bali to relax at a private villa in Seminyak for the remainder of our stay of 8 nights.

Holidays are just the best time, you are at your happiest as you have your Mama and Dada with you 24/7. I’m at my happiest as I have your Dada’s support and hands-on help 24/7 and your Dada is at his happiest as he’s with us and not at work, ha! The time together for just us is invaluable for all of us and I’ve come to realise how important family holidays away really are. Just to get away from everything and focus on “us”.

I’ve probably said it before but I’ll say it again, you are such a good little traveller, Seb. Of course, it’s all about the journey and not the destination with you but this is what makes travelling so fun with you, you love the journey.

In Yogya; we went on walks and got lost down little laneways in the hot sun searching for historical sights and street art. We shopped as you ran wildly around batik shops. We had a becak ride through the busy city streets. We hiked up a hill in the dark at 5am to see Bukit Rhema aka the Chicken church, climbing up the tiny spiral staircases to be first to the crown for sunrise. We explored the famous Borobudur temple in the heat of the day with hundreds {thousands, maybe?} of other visitors. We explored Jalan Malioboro at night looking at the night markets and stalls, listening to the traditional music on the streets and searching for the perfect street food to fill our tummies. We certainly got our Yogya fix, although it’s never quite enough really!

In Bali; we spent a lot of time chilling out in our private villa, family time, listening to music, playing trains, soaking up the sun and playing memory card games in the late afternoons by the pool. We visited the Garuda Wisnu Kencana Cultural Park, I think a highlight for you as you loved the animation movie {your first ever cinema experience and you sat still for a full 30 minutes for an Indonesian language movie!} and you absolutely loved the Nusantara traditional dance performance, bopping along to the beat and clapping your hands to the music. You experienced Nyepi {day of silence} and a Purnama {Full Moon} Hindu ceremony and you loved any little exploring that you could partake in.

Monthly photo – you turned 3 years 5 months old while we were in Bali.

And the best thing about holidays is the part when we get to come home, although I’m always sad that holidays have come to an end, there is also something special about coming home after being away for some time. Home, to our comforts and safety of our little home….and seeing how much you have grown while we were away because I can never quite see it when we are away, it’s not until we get home that I can suddenly see how much you have grown.

While we were away, you came out of your shyness just a little bit, you warmed to all those friendly Indonesian faces and your language {both English and Indonesian} came along so much. Your vocabulary grew and along with that, your confidence also grew. I love that the words “becak” and “cicak” are just common words used in your daily conversations. As an Indonesian Language advocate, this makes my heart very happy.

With post holiday blues, it was lucky that Easter was just around the corner – such a fun time of year and this year you were very excited about the Easter Bunny and chocolate eggs, of course! Easter long weekend is one of my favourite times of year, a short break to spend with family and do much of nothing. We went for a beach walk on Good Friday in the afternoon sunshine. One of my favourite things and you my little man also love a good beach walk. We walked right out to the end of the pier, looking for penguins around the rocks. It was one of those perfect afternoons.

On the Saturday, you turned three and a half years old and we had a big surprise for you. We got you a big boy bed in the form of a King Single bed! It was delivered on Saturday morning so we were busy packing up your cot/toddler bed and moving furniture around to make room for your new bed. So exciting! You were jumping up and down with excitement when the delivery guys arrived.

Let me just tell you that over the last few weeks since you got your new bed, we have played musical beds and we’ve all had a turn sleeping in your bed! It’s very comfy.

Easter Sunday was spent with your Gran and Pop-Pop in Croydon, as we do every year, a lovely roast pork with all the trimmings and just our little family. From your Gran and Pop you got an amazing Make Me Iconic Tram as well as lots of other gifts; transport toys for the bath, an Easter book and of course, Easter eggs.

On Easter Monday, we went with our little tradition of doing an Easter egg hunt. Coz why not have more chocolate?! You and your Dada went off to the city in the morning and whilst you were gone, I hid lots of eggs so when you came home it was Easter egg hunt time. You loved it. You didn’t want it to end, you asked for MORE!

Easter egg hunt stash.

So, the last six months have been busy to say the least and it’s no wonder I haven’t really had time to sit down and write to you. Most of our time is spent building train tracks, playing trains, playing cars, playing buses, playing airplanes, playing hide and seek, jumping on the bed, singing and laughing…lots of laughing with you my little man. You are just the funniest little person.

I feel that the next six months are going to be filled with many more changes for us, Seb. I have just started work on a new project and this will be a big shift for both of us, Sebby. Things will need to change a little, I will somehow need to squeeze in work time into our busy days and we’re just going to have to go with the flow a little and accept this shift to our days as we know them. I really feel like it’s the start of a new phase for us and I hope we’ll both be okay, it’s a step forward that’s been inevitable really.

If only I could hold onto my little Sebby and stay safe in our little bubble forever but I know that eventually I have to let you go out into the big wide world, my little man. Step by step, slowly, slowly. I just want to make every little moment last, especially as I know that this will most likely be our last year at home together. Oh my heart…

So, let’s have lots of fun adventures together over the next six months, as before we know it you’ll be turning into a big four year old boy.

I love you my little Sebby, no words can really describe how much my heart loves you but know that it’s more than all the stars in the sky, my little moon child.

Love, Mama xxx

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