Letter to Sebastian Jaya – Four years old!

To dear Sebastian Jaya,

I write this letter to you as you nap in your room in the middle of a hot day – might I add that you NEVER nap in the day. This just tells me how exhausted you are at the moment, my dear little man.

We’ve been on such the emotional rollercoaster ride over the last few months, ending in great grief from losing your Pop-Pop. A time of great sadness. And now, we’ve just recently celebrated your 4th birthday. A time of happiness. I’m so grateful for your happy, smiley face and that sparkle in your eyes.

The weekend before your birthday, we surprised you with tickets to the Sesame Street Circus Spectacular at Burnley Oval. I like to give you an “experience” as a birthday gift and I was tossing around so many different ideas but ended up deciding on Sesame Street as it just happened to be in town and I knew you’d love the singing and dancing.

It was quite the experience – and you LOVED it! You loved clapping along, you loved the music, you loved the Sesame Street characters {of course!} and you also loved the circus acts. I just loved watching your little face – the curiosity, the joy, the excitement.

On the Friday before your birthday, we celebrated with your Gran. Your Gran gave you a rainbow umbrella, which you absolutely loved! {You see your Gran has a big rainbow umbrella and you have always loved it and wanted it. So, now you have your own!} You also got some magnetic tiles and a very big red remote control car. This had you so excited.

As you jumped up and down with excitement over your new very big red remote control car, your Gran and I held back tears as in our hearts we were thinking about your Pop-Pop. You see, not long before your Pop-Pop passed away, he told your Gran that he wanted to get you this red remote control car. I’m sure he would have been watching down on you and seeing your happy face…but oh how we missed his presence on this special day, celebrating and cherishing you. It hurt my heart so much.

On the Saturday we had errands to run in the morning and then we headed to the South Melbourne Market to pick up some food supplies.The afternoon was busy too with you going with your Dada to the city and I busied myself with things that needed doing at home. It was pretty late to bed for you and once you were asleep, we prepped party food and realised it was too late to bake you a cake so your Dada headed out to the supermarket very late to get you a birthday cake. We were decorating said birthday cake well past midnight and hid it in the bottom of the fridge.

The morning of your birthday started with you running into our room and jumping into bed with us and giving us hugs and kisses. Oh my sweetheart, you can make my heart melt sometimes.

We made you eat breakfast first, before we gave you your presents, as otherwise breakfast would not have been eaten. Ha!

So, after breakfast it was present time and you were jumping up and down with excitement. We spoilt you with so many gifts this year, perhaps to make up for all the sadness around us of late. I know “things” don’t necessarily make us happy but seeing you open your many presents with so much excitement on your face and the “wow’s” and excited little voice yelling “that’s really cool!” – certainly made my heart very happy.

Your presents ranged from things that you needed like some new pyjamas and clothes to some new educational toys such as; games and LEGO and some new entertainment in the form of books and DVDs. And some special gifts such as; a new wooden music box {as your other one that we got in KL is not working atm}, a big garbage truck that you have been wanting forever and a day, and a new scooter; the Globber Elite Deluxe.

For your birthday we had invited Archie {and his Mum and Dad, of course} – your one and only friend to come over for a special birthday play date. You were so excited that Archie was coming over.

Although just before Archie arrived, you had a bit of a melt down as you couldn’t find your construction vehicles and of course you had to have them right then and there. There were tears. Little did you know that we had used them to decorate your birthday cake, which was hidden in the fridge. So, out came the “not-so” surprise construction birthday cake, so you could see where your construction vehicles had got to. I’m not too sure that you were very happy about your construction vehicles being used on the cake.

We had such a lovely afternoon celebrating your birthday. You and Archie played happily and us Mama’s and Dada’s enjoyed some lovely wine with a small cheese platter and some Asian tapas – dumplings, san choi bow and duck tartlets. And, of course, your birthday cake!

I will admit that I’d been feeling bad about not having a party as such for your birthday, as we had done for previous birthdays but my little Sebby, I’m sorry I just wasn’t up to it this year. But I realised on the day of your birthday that you were more than happy {stoked, in fact!} to have Archie come over and play, and that’s all that matters, my sweetheart. The day is about you, not anybody else.

We had such a lovely day, so good for the soul; full of fun, joy and laughter. Late in the afternoon after Archie had left, we went for a walk down to Acland Street just to get some fresh air and to let you have your first ride on your new scooter. Half way down our front path {we hadn’t even got to the footpath yet!}, I was carrying your helmet and Dada was carrying your scooter. We carried these down to Acland Street and back home again. So yeah, that went really well. Hehehe

You had a very happy birthday, Sebby, and that night I kissed and hugged my big four year old boy goodnight, with a little ache deep in my heart for you are growing up my little man.

Now we have a couple of months and the count down till Christmas and Summer time…and that wheel just keeps spinning and time just keeps on rushing by. The days are getting longer and hotter, and Summer will be upon us in no time. I’m so looking forward to some down time with beach days and balmy nights and all my time spent with you, Sebby.

Once again, happy happy fourth birthday my sweetheart, may you always be healthy and happy, and wearing that cheeky grin of yours. I love you my little man, my rainbow baby, my moon child, always.

Love always and forever, Mama xxx

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